The new "Normal"

  A few months ago we had a ladies retreat that I was very blessed to be able to go on. It was a whole three days long, and a few hours away which put me where I so long to be.. farm country.
  There was no up all nights with crying babies, eating cold food, or forgetting to eat. As a matter a fact I am pretty sure I have not eaten as much as I did that weekend in like ten years! Those ladies stuffed us with meals, snacks, and treats constantly!
There was amazing worship with a very talented worship leader, inspirational speakers, s'mores, hayrides, laughs, and fellowship. I could feel God's presence as I sat on a porch swing and looked over the rolling hills into the trees and listened to cows mooing in the background.
It was like heaven on earth, and it had everything a tired and weary mama could ever ask for! Well almost everything..
  We sat down that first night at a table for our small group session, and began a question and answer session. I loved listening, and learning about my Sisters in Christ that surrounded me. We were asked to name the most important, and influential person in your life right now and when it came to me I passed.  The girls went around each giving their answers one by one while I listened and tried so hard to not think about mine.  When everyone had finished a friend at my table gave me a hard time and said "Rhi can't pass" lol  so I smiled took a deep breath and began to answer.  I felt my eyes instantly tear up, and I began to talk about my husband.
You see I wanted to pass because here I was at a table that also included a military wife, and a wife of a boat captain who's husband is gone for weeks at a time. I felt so guilty saying, this weekend that was such a blessing, was one of the hardest weekends I had ever had! These women go through so much more then a weekend, how could I get so upset and pour my heart out in front of them. I knew I could never do what those ladies did on a daily basis! Next came the " we are not normal" gut feeling I had that made me not want to admit how much I really missed my best friend! I was after all on the ultimate girls weekend!
  My husband and I do not do things apart.. almost EVER.. we NEVER spend nights apart, and are the couple that can not even go to sleep at night if the other one is not next to us in bed. Even on my hardest of days with autism meltdowns, and little boys being boys, making their mama crazy. It always gets better in his arms at night before we drift off asleep. It was then I realized as great as it all was, I felt like a piece of me was still at home.
  Somewhere in society we have come to believe its "normal" to not want to spend time with your spouse, its normal to not want to be around them, its normal to want to be out with your friends, and each of you doing your own things.

There seems to be a time limit set where after so many years you will' "get sick of them". I think for some couples, that works for them, but its been ten years, and I don't ever want that to be the "normal" for us.
I want very much to have a Godly marriage, which is not one with no trials but one where

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it "Ephesians 5:25 -
I can't help but think that Christ never gives excuses after a certain amount of time that it's been three, five, ten, years so it was okay to need space, and not be in the honeymoon phase anymore.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sinspeter 4:8

I know I most definitely have my sins, so to be able to do something as simple as love my husband to cover them... is amazing, and not asking to much.

Now don't get me wrong, we have been through a roller coaster of trials, arguments and issues like all married couples do!  Every day is not full of love notes, and roses!  As a matter a fact my sweet husband is not one to give flowers, or love notes unless you plain out say.. "Flowers would be nice, or I wish I got love notes." After all that you still may not get them because you didn't come right out and say it plainly lol. He is a man, a good one, but never the less a man, and they're wired different! :-)
 I don't pretend to know all there is to know about being married but one thing I do know is God gave me a partner, a best friend, a companion, and confidant! I know that as hard as marriage is, life is so much harder, and there is no one else I can imagine by my side through it all. 
I know that we used to be a society of til death do us part, and now a marriage of fifty years is nearly non existent. We have prenuptial agreements to protect us if things don't work. We literately go into a marriage preparing for it to fail and wonder why the divorce rate is so high! I know things need to change.  I challenge you all to be part of the "New Normal!" The couple, whether its been a year or fifty years still hold hands, praises their spouse in person, as well as publicly and does the lovey stuff! Yes praise your spouse on your Facebook and in person to your friends and family! Stop, the only time you bring them up to those around you from being a " he didn't take the garbage out again." Let the world see how great they truly are as much as you share how many faults they have! You will be amazed at the difference it makes for your marriage! Make it "normal" to not like to be apart and make it "normal" to hold hands no matter how long you have been married.  Make God the only person that is above your spouse, and I know that can be so hard with little ones! Make constantly perusing dating, and loving on your spouse the "Normal" because I believe that is how God wanted marriage to be. 
 Imagine the world we would have if marriages like that become  the new " Normal."